don't you think it's kind of crappy || todd

[Bailey Emmanuel Dean]

Living within walking distance of the hospital certainly cut down on the gas bill. Most days, Bailey walked to work and figured if she was too tired to manage the walk home, she'd be able to bum a ride with someone. Today, though, it was beautiful. The spring breeze was warm and inviting, and she wasn't too tired for the short walk. In fact, she didn't think she was too tired to take the scenic route home.

As she walked, she let her thoughts drift. Her attention wandered from the weather to the flowers in some old lady's garden to a cute guy she knew from work. Before she knew it, she was most definitely taking the scenic route. As in she'd wandered much farther off her chosen path than she'd intended. To be truthful, she couldn't quite figure out where she was at first. She just knew it wasn't where she'd intended to be.

By the time the apartment complex came into view, though, she'd figured out exactly where she was. And she wanted to be there even less than she'd first thought. Unfortunately, it was as if she couldn't communicate with her feet. It wasn't the first time they'd developed a mind of their own, and she had a feeling she was going to meet with the same exasperating consequences as usual.

As it turned out, she was right. When her feet finally stopped, she was standing outside of the apartment building, staring straight at Todd Owens. She was really beginning to wish the guy had never existed or at least that she'd never known him. As it was, he did exist, and she did know him. Now, she was stuck shifting awkwardly on her feet and wishing her pink scrub top would blend in with the bushes.

[Todd Stephen Owens]

Todd was bringing his garbage out, a mundane action, but it had to be done. Especially since he hated the process of massive cleaning later so he had sorted all his mail and such and had a bit to bring down. His mind was thinking about his latest case, his sister's recovery and general things like what would he have for dinner. And then he hit the doorway of the complex, bag in hand, and who was in front of him but Bailey Dean in her pink scrubs. He had heard she'd become a nurse. They seemed to do a lot of bumping into each other, especially for people who really wanted nothing to do with each other. It wasn't so much that he disliked her as much as their strange and complicated past.

"Hi Bailey," He said as he stepped around her to dump the trash into the dumpster. She was pretty. "So... what's up?" he asked, not the rude kind to wave and walk back upstairs to his apartment. Plus, when he tried that, she sometimes followed, though her face showed she'd rather not. Like they were both being polite.

Todd put his hands in the pockets of his jeans and rocked back on his heels lightly. Why on earth was she here? It wasn't like they really had anything more to say. She had broken his heart and he was gay. That was that.

[Bailey Emmanuel Dean]

So much for hoping he hadn't seen her. Bailey all but winced at his greeting. She didn't want to be rude. But she didn't want to be there either. "Hey, Todd,"/b] she greeted him, her eyes locking on her shoes. She listened to the sounds of his feet hitting the ground as Todd walked around her to drop his trash bag in the can. His question should have felt casual, but in truth, the situation would never feel casual. No situation between them would. She was usually the polite type, and she figured she ought to at least look at him while she answered his question. "I... um... I was on my way home from work," she offered. That hardly explained how she'd ended up in front of his apartment given the fact that she lived several blocks away. But it was the best she had to offer. Somehow, 'I seem to have this uncanny ability to show up wherever you are regardless of what I would rather be doing,' didn't seem like an appropriate response.

Scuffing the toe of her shoe against the ground, she wracked her brain for another topic of conversation. "How... uh... how's work?" she asked, offering him a somewhat apologetic smile. She knew this was absurd. She seemed to find him in the most random places, and she was never sure how she got there or why. She simply knew that she didn't want to be there and he probably didn't want her there. How could he? She'd been a royal bitch to him. She could get away with that with a lot of guys, but batting her eyelashes and pouting wasn't likely to help her out with Todd. He was gay, after all.

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[Todd Stephen Owens]

"Works good, crazy as usual but fine," He nodded. "And you? How's working at the hospital?" It was so hard to have small talk with her, even after all this time. As teens they were very close and talked about deep things.. well, as deep as Bailey got anyway. And she left him, left town, all of a sudden and with her away he decided to do what he'd been trying to for a while--come out of the closet. He knew his family would be fine with the idea, thought being the adopted gay son was difficult. Once he wasn't afraid to hurt her, since she was no longer part of his life, he'd come out. And now talking about anything felt uncomfortable. Why couldn't their past stay in the past? There was no reason for them to cross paths as often as they did.

Todd didn't know what else to say, or to ask her. Didn't she live no where near here? It was strange that she was here because she looked like she'd rather be anywhere else on the planet.

"How's your family?" he'd met them a few times and it was a safe topic to skim over since she didn't seem to be getting home anytime soon.

[Bailey Emmanuel Dean]

Talking about work with anyone was awkward. It was like talking about the weather. Bailey had never been a fan of small talk, but she didn't really have another option. Her feet hadn't yet begun responding to her brain, and she knew she'd be stuck here for at least a bit longer. "It's a hospital, Todd. I can hardly say it's good... We lost a baby last night." She shrugged and stared at her toes, reminding herself once again that she really did like her job. Every night wasn't as bad as the previous one had been.

She shook her head a little, tossing soft blonde locks around her shoulders. She'd been trying very hard to pretend that she wasn't in a bad mood over the fact that she couldn't seem to stay away from Todd. But the more she thought about it, the more she couldn't convince herself that standing around outside his apartment trying to keep up small talk was anything she needed to be okay with. "You know what, Todd? My family's great. They talk about you, ya know. About how they can't believe I ever dated you. How we should have known there was something off about you." She'd never really said anything negative about Todd's sexuality. She knew for a fact that the reason things had gone so wrong between them was because of her. Because she walked out on him without warning. But at the moment, she was much more concerned with finding a way to get herself out of there, and since she hadn't yet tried pissing him off as an escape, she was willing to give it a go.

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[Todd Stephen Owens]

Todd frowned lightly. Well of course there were gonna be sucky bits, this was just curtesy. What was he supposed to talk about with her? "Sorry about that," he said calmly, but guarded. She was starting to get in one of her moods. He'd dealt with them when they were dating. Todd also tried not thinking about dead babies, he always had a mind to adopt one someday. He liked kids.

Then she went into full force crazy Bailey mode. This was the first time she'd really made a comment on his sexual orientation. "I wouldn't classify being gay as something off," Todd said first, crossing his arms lightly over his chest. A defensive pose, he knew, but it was more to hold himself in that to push her out. "And gay or not, I cared about you Bailey, I didn't want to hurt you, so I didn't break it off and come out as soon as I knew." Todd really had given a shit about her, but she just couldn't see it and he doubted she'd ever cared that much about him.

"You just needed someone to tell you how pretty you are, of course you dated me, I have two eyes and a mouth." He hadn't meant to say all that but now it was out. Great, he was going to have a screaming match with his ex of many years on his front step. Great. Just great. Todd sighed. He wanted to say he was sorry and that he didn't mean in... but sadly, he did mean it.

[Bailey Emmanuel Dean]

She knew she shouldn't have said it. There was really nothing wrong with being gay. It just wasn't what Bailey had wanted. She'd wanted to come back home after her failed attempt at love to find her former boyfriend waiting around to be just as devoted as he had been before. She'd been surprised, and she'd been hurt. But hearing now that Todd had realized he was gay and continued to lead her on made her even angrier. Maybe he thought he was showing that he cared about her by doing so, but in her mind, if he'd really cared about her as much as he thought, he'd have told her the truth and given her the opportunity to find someone who was really attracted to her.

Her eyes took on an icy tone as the swept over his defensive pose. She was about to open her mouth in response when he continued. Her mouth closed again abruptly and formed a frown. As if she wanted nothing more in a relationship than flattery! If she was honest, when they were younger, that was mostly what she'd wanted. Someone who thought she was pretty and told her as often as she thought they ought to. Her brow furrowed and she tried to quell her anger. The biggest problem was that Todd made her angry with herself. She'd grown up a bit since they'd dated, but the fact that she was ever as horribly self-absorbed as he reminded her she'd been frustrated Bailey.

Before she fully registered the decision to do so, she felt the sting of her palm on Todd's cheek. Fantastic. She'd hit him. Actually hit him. Her first instinct was to apologize, but when she opened her mouth, a torrent of angry words tumbled out. "How can you possibly say that you stayed with me because you cared?! You lied to me. You led me on. You kept me from finding someone that might have actually wanted to be with me! You're a fucking asshole is what you are. I sure hope you find someone else to care so much about." Her entire mood had gone sour by this point. And her stupid feet still wouldn't let her leave.

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[Todd Stephen Owens]

She slapped him. That was a first, and he couldn't say his cheek wasn't stinging, but he was used to worse. It had thoroughly surprised him though and his face looked shocked and open for a moment before calming to an unreadable line. "I was a stupid kid Bailey, we were both stupid kids, and I'd like to point out that it didn't stop you from finding someone new." Didn't she remember? She had cheated on him, left him. "I'm sorry to have held you back, I was scared, I was in the closet, I wanted to be straight for you....you don't know what its like to want to hide." All she ever seemed to want was the spotlight. And while this was becoming quite a fight, he was going to try to just own up to what he'd done wrong, but he wasn't going to let her off the hook.

"You still broke my heart." Todd said. He hated being the victim, but he couldn't stop himself from saying it. She was just as much a part of their messed up relationship as he was. He put his hands in his pockets and sighed, shaking his head.

"Look, what happened happened." Could they just leave it behind them?

[Bailey Emmanuel Dean]

It was silly to try to make it seem as though Todd had held her back. He was right, after all. She'd found someone else without really trying. And she'd been careless enough or maybe just rude enough to let herself be so easily distracted. She wanted to make it his fault. She'd have felt better about the situation if she could have. But Todd really hadn't done anything wrong. She'd been the one who apparently didn't care deeply enough to really be loyal. All he was guilty of was trying to keep a teenage girl from getting hurt in the only way he knew how.

She kind of felt like she'd been punched in the stomach when Todd told her she'd broken his heart. Somewhere deep down, she'd known that. Even if he wasn't sexually attracted to her, she knew that Todd had cared about her. Whether some part of him did or not, she wasn't sure. Maybe she'd hurt him badly enough that things were irreparable between them. She wasn't sure.

Frowning a bit, she finally turned her eyes to meet his. She chewed her lower lip for a few seconds and let out a soft sigh. "I'm sorry... I know I never told you that. I was stupid and selfish and self-absorbed. And maybe I still am... But I like to think I'm a little more grown up now..." She shrugged and offered Todd a wan smile. He probably thought she was psychotic by now, what with the way she'd gone from polite to angry to almost remorseful. She cleared her throat and let her gaze return to her shoes. "We're not kids anymore, you know... I guess we could just... start over or something?" She knew there wasn't much chance of that. There was too much past to just let it all go. But maybe they could at least let go of some of the hurt and try to be civil. Especially given the fact that she couldn't seem to stay away from him.

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[Todd Stephen Owens]

Todd was getting whiplash from their conversation at this point. Forced politeness to anger and back to an almost apologetic one. Though, he did appreciate her apology, it didn't really solve everything. Too little too late, but the first step was admitting it. Was she grown up now? He didn't know but he nodded softly, showing that he'd heard. He wasn't sure if it was enough, so he couldn't say that he accepted the apology.

He stayed quiet while she continued. She had a point, they weren't kids anymore, and they kept running into each other. "We could try." He agreed, smiling softly. They couldn't be friends over night, there was a lot of hurt and pain they'd have to work through, but they had started with there small fight just then. It was worth a shot, right?

Todd shuffled his feet quietly, this situation retaining it original awkwardness and tension. They couldn't solve their problems over night but step by step maybe they could patch things up. Even if you could still feel the scars.

[Bailey Emmanuel Dean]

As much as she hated fighting, the arguing had been a lot easier than being polite was. When they were yelling at one another, Bailey didn't have to think so hard about what she should say. She chewed her bottom lip and stared at Todd for a few seconds before mumbling, "I'm sorry I said that about something being off with you.... I mean, my dad might have said that, but I shouldn't have mentioned it... There's nothing wrong with you.... I think everyone was just kind of surprised is all." It wasn't much of an apology, but it made her feel a little better. She was still self-absorbed enough to try to make herself feel better.

His agreement that they could try to start over seemed to be the trick today. She could feel her body return to her own control, and Bailey knew that if she tried to leave now, she would be able to. For the first time since she'd run into Todd, she offered him a real smile. "I, um... I should really be going... Twelve hour shifts kind of kick my butt, and I'm definitely overdue for a meal, but... I'll see you around," she told him, absolutely positive that she was telling the truth. After all, she seemed to have an uncanny ability to find him. Hopefully the next time would be a little less awkward. Or at least less upsetting.

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